This has been a very different Christmas. Joe stayed with us for the whole time between Dec 18th and this morning, and it has been lovely to have him. He had to work from home for 5 days, and found his laptop did not work very successfully in the conservatory and not at all in the annexe, so we bought a kit to extend the coverage and he got it all set up. It was diffic ult at first, but he stayed up until 12.30 am one night and used internet websites and fora to solve the problems. He never gives up on that sort of problem; we would have abandoned it in disgust. We are very pleased to have that facility because I will find it useful to be able to access the internet from the annexe.
Dave and I bought each other a Wii, with the Resort pack, and again Joe installed it and even got the internet working through it so we were able to access googlemail and watch a slide show of Mary-Ann's photos on the TV. The games have provided hours of fun and a certain amount of exercise (which was not obvious until we woke up stiff and aching!) Alan-over-the-road came round on Christmas Eve with a bottle of his special Christmas sherry (Woods rum). We got involved with 10 pin bowling and he saw Christmas in with us and got quite excited about the bowling.
Dave and I went to church at 10.0am for a short family service, then home to open presents before going to Gressenhall for lunch with Steve and Kate. All except Kate gathered at the Swan at 12.30 for an hour, so we were able to wish Mick and Iris, James and Megan and Joel, and Chris and Sophie a happy Christmas. We had a traditional turkey dinner, with Sally's sister Liz's famous Christmas pudding and my brandy butter. Hannah and Craig with Reece spent the day there, and Tom and Rebekah arrived later with baby Noah, followed by James, Megan and Joel. Kate's mother and her partner had been and gone by this time. We came home at about 6.0pm to stoke up the fire and let Dave have his Christmas drink.
On the 26th we went to the Sunday service, again quite short, and had a quiet afternoon preparing for a Boxing Day meal with Dot and Rodney, (lamb this time, with Dot's Christmas pudding and more brandy butter.) On Monday, officially Boxing Day, the sun came out at about 11.30am and we decided to have a walk at Cromer followed by fish and chips. We got as far as the beginning of Happy Valley, but the final slopes of path were still treacherous with ice so we returned to the town feeling virtuous and thoroughly braced. The fish and chips were very good, but we cancelled the idea of a drive round the coast and headed straight home for our fireside. Steve and Kate came to return Liz's basin and stayed to enjoy a few games.
Joe has left us this morning so we are very quiet and unmotivated to do anything much. We are off to Devon on the 30th, so have to get ourselves organised and packed. Fortunately it is thawing, so our anxiety about burst pipes is lessened.
All a long way from the big bustling family Christmases of the past, but restful and just what we needed this year. We are very grateful to Joe for his company, help and good advice, and to Sally for letting us have him for a long break without complaint.
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Wednesday, 22 December 2010
It seems important to record the sequence of events at the moment, so this is just an update on the biopsy issue. Yesterday morning I managed to speak to the specialist oncology nurse. I had left a message on their answerphone on Monday, but still no reply, then yesterday I tried several times to get through and the line was engaged. It seems the office had been unanned on Monday and she was doing all the phoning on her own yesterday. I'm not the only one!
I explained about talkng to my surgeon friend and his view that there was a possibility of this secondary being from the breast. She was slightly huffy about this, saying that Dr Biswas had all the information in front of him and was in the best position to advise me. She mellowed a bit when I explained that I had been offered a biopsy while at the same time being advised that it wasn't necessary, and that Dr Biswas himself had admitted he could not tell me definitely where this tumour had originated. She agreed to speak to him in case he would need to see me and set something up before my planned pre-chemo appointment on Jan 26th.
I had e-mailed Sam, my surgeon friend, on Sunday after he had spokent to me at church, and asked him how I might tackle this, so I let him know that I had requested an appointment. He had been thinking it through carefully and set down the case for requesting a 'definitive diagnosis' very clearly. It gives me a lot more confidence, as Sam has over 30 years experience in treating breast cancer, and was also the surgery professor at UEA so he thinks very clearly and logically.
Last night we did our annual 'carols by streetlight' outside Ian and Sue's where we hold our church cell-group meeting. Every year I design a flyer, the church prints it, and Sue and Ian deliver to all 61 houses in their road. We serve mulled wine and mince pies, a friend comes with his accordion and various neighbours join us for a half hour of carols and fun. We thought the weather might put people off this year, but it had started to feel a littel warmer, and both rain and snow held off. We had more neighbours than ever, including a small baby who thoroughly enjoyed the singing.
Afterwards our cell-group went inside and shared a sit-down meal together. We all bring something; Dave's contribution is always a curry, and that went down a storm. I had made the mince pies for the carol-singing, with the help of two new cell-grooup members who came to help. It was a lovely informal way of getting to know them better. Sue came too, although she bears the brunt of the organisation and seating arrangments. This all sounds a bit trivial, but for myself I just wanted to record that in December 2010 I am doing all the things I would normally do, and enjoying them. Oh, and the choir items were a great success on Sunday. Those who are available have been asked to sing to the residents at Eckling Grange on Christmas Eve, so we get our moment of glory again.
I explained about talkng to my surgeon friend and his view that there was a possibility of this secondary being from the breast. She was slightly huffy about this, saying that Dr Biswas had all the information in front of him and was in the best position to advise me. She mellowed a bit when I explained that I had been offered a biopsy while at the same time being advised that it wasn't necessary, and that Dr Biswas himself had admitted he could not tell me definitely where this tumour had originated. She agreed to speak to him in case he would need to see me and set something up before my planned pre-chemo appointment on Jan 26th.
I had e-mailed Sam, my surgeon friend, on Sunday after he had spokent to me at church, and asked him how I might tackle this, so I let him know that I had requested an appointment. He had been thinking it through carefully and set down the case for requesting a 'definitive diagnosis' very clearly. It gives me a lot more confidence, as Sam has over 30 years experience in treating breast cancer, and was also the surgery professor at UEA so he thinks very clearly and logically.
Last night we did our annual 'carols by streetlight' outside Ian and Sue's where we hold our church cell-group meeting. Every year I design a flyer, the church prints it, and Sue and Ian deliver to all 61 houses in their road. We serve mulled wine and mince pies, a friend comes with his accordion and various neighbours join us for a half hour of carols and fun. We thought the weather might put people off this year, but it had started to feel a littel warmer, and both rain and snow held off. We had more neighbours than ever, including a small baby who thoroughly enjoyed the singing.
Afterwards our cell-group went inside and shared a sit-down meal together. We all bring something; Dave's contribution is always a curry, and that went down a storm. I had made the mince pies for the carol-singing, with the help of two new cell-grooup members who came to help. It was a lovely informal way of getting to know them better. Sue came too, although she bears the brunt of the organisation and seating arrangments. This all sounds a bit trivial, but for myself I just wanted to record that in December 2010 I am doing all the things I would normally do, and enjoying them. Oh, and the choir items were a great success on Sunday. Those who are available have been asked to sing to the residents at Eckling Grange on Christmas Eve, so we get our moment of glory again.
Monday, 20 December 2010
A new phase of life
My last blog seems a life-time ago. Last Wednesday we went for my follow-up visit to the oncologist. It was a bit nerve-racking, and if I had been told that the CT scan showed a recurrence of the bowel cancer or liver secondaries, I would have been prepared. I wasn't prepared to be told I had a lung secondary, and the news froze my brain for a bit. The consultant told me the treatment was more chemotherapy, which couldn't start until I had finished the last lot for three months, to let my body recover enough to be battered again! I did pull myself together enough to ask how he knew it was a secondary from the bowel and not breast, from my primary 8 years ago, and would the treatment be different. He said the treatment would be different but thought the risks of a biopsy outweighed the chance of it being a breast secondary. The history and the fact that the cancer had been at the very edge of the original specimen made bowel the most likely diagnosis. He had given me a prognosis of 6-12 months without treatment, maybe doubling this with treatment, so I wasn't thinking very critically.
Joe was having a much-needed break in Spain with Sally, having a wonderful time, and we were not prepared to spoil his last two days. Mary-Ann took it on the chin; like me she tends to prepare herself for the worst case scenario. She was desperate to talk to Joe, but agreed we should not tell him until he was home. Neither of us knew what time he was expected, and by Friday afternoon we were getting a bit twitchy about the possibility of Facebook giving us away. By the time he got home and had re-charged his phone he had numerous text messages asking if he was home yet, and suspected something was going on.
Joe's reaction was to cancel his week's work, apologise for not being at Sally's daughter's birthday party and get himself home the next day. Sally joined him yesterday, specifically to hear us sing with the choir at the candlelight service last night. She had a horrendous journey with windscreen washers freezing up and a multi-police-car incident on the M6 to unsettle her. My sister Mary had spent Saturday with us and had a similar journey on Sunday morning.
I couldn't let everyone know the news on my blog as planned because of the possibility that Joe might read it, so I sent a group e-mail to family and another to friends. Every single person has made a response of love and good wishes, and I feel very cherished. Church people have been free with hugs. There is something to be said for cramming the rest of your life into a shorter time than planned, it really brings life into focus. I still feel pretty good, and it is hard to know this won't go on indefinitely, but for now I am just living each day as it comes, being thankful for it, and enjoying it.
We are still going to Devon on the 30th, and Dave has decided to stay for the 2+weeks. This interval before I start chemo again may well be the best I get, and it seems very unfair for him to miss it and then pick up on the misery of chemo.
A surgeon friend yesterday expressed some surprise that I was to have further chemo without a biopsy, and pointed out that breast cancer commonly spreads after a long time, whereas bowel cancer rarely spreads to the lung. I am still contemplating asking for a biopsy in spite of the risks, but I remembered this morning that my oncologist told me they had discussed me at their meeting before my appointment, so I am up against a body of specialist opinion. I was offered the choice however, and I think I might need a confirmed diagnosis to have the courage to go through with the treatment. Watch this space.
This is not a very entertaining blog I am afraid, but I needed to set this down as a landmark situation. I am genuinely having a really nice time. I have never had so much attention, so many visits and hugs. Compare that with old folks in a home....Enough said.
Joe was having a much-needed break in Spain with Sally, having a wonderful time, and we were not prepared to spoil his last two days. Mary-Ann took it on the chin; like me she tends to prepare herself for the worst case scenario. She was desperate to talk to Joe, but agreed we should not tell him until he was home. Neither of us knew what time he was expected, and by Friday afternoon we were getting a bit twitchy about the possibility of Facebook giving us away. By the time he got home and had re-charged his phone he had numerous text messages asking if he was home yet, and suspected something was going on.
Joe's reaction was to cancel his week's work, apologise for not being at Sally's daughter's birthday party and get himself home the next day. Sally joined him yesterday, specifically to hear us sing with the choir at the candlelight service last night. She had a horrendous journey with windscreen washers freezing up and a multi-police-car incident on the M6 to unsettle her. My sister Mary had spent Saturday with us and had a similar journey on Sunday morning.
I couldn't let everyone know the news on my blog as planned because of the possibility that Joe might read it, so I sent a group e-mail to family and another to friends. Every single person has made a response of love and good wishes, and I feel very cherished. Church people have been free with hugs. There is something to be said for cramming the rest of your life into a shorter time than planned, it really brings life into focus. I still feel pretty good, and it is hard to know this won't go on indefinitely, but for now I am just living each day as it comes, being thankful for it, and enjoying it.
We are still going to Devon on the 30th, and Dave has decided to stay for the 2+weeks. This interval before I start chemo again may well be the best I get, and it seems very unfair for him to miss it and then pick up on the misery of chemo.
A surgeon friend yesterday expressed some surprise that I was to have further chemo without a biopsy, and pointed out that breast cancer commonly spreads after a long time, whereas bowel cancer rarely spreads to the lung. I am still contemplating asking for a biopsy in spite of the risks, but I remembered this morning that my oncologist told me they had discussed me at their meeting before my appointment, so I am up against a body of specialist opinion. I was offered the choice however, and I think I might need a confirmed diagnosis to have the courage to go through with the treatment. Watch this space.
This is not a very entertaining blog I am afraid, but I needed to set this down as a landmark situation. I am genuinely having a really nice time. I have never had so much attention, so many visits and hugs. Compare that with old folks in a home....Enough said.
Sunday, 12 December 2010
All the nativity books are sold! Ruth rang up from Grreen Pastures on Thursday to say they had all gone, and was there any chance of getting some more, in particular for the church's Christmas Fair on Saturday. It was very short notice and Mick had had three days of broken down machinery during the week. He agreed to try, no promises. Then he rang back to say the production price would be considerably more for such a short run (Ruth wanted 20) so Dave said he had loads of customers wanting to buy them so he ordered another 100! We delivered 20 to the Christmas Fair yesterday morning, and for the rest Dave is now my distributor. He'll have to get moving to shift them before Christmas, although I suspect Green Pastures may need some more. They already have back orders, and various volunteers from the shop are saying they forgot to get theirs!
Bob e-mailed me with a copy of the letter he received from his father's agent, suggesting I should contact their children's book person, so I have e-mailed her to see if she will accept the pdf version of 'When Grandma was Little' to look at. The instructions for submissions also mention a CV, so I have also asked what that means in this context, as I can't believe they want to know the history of my career in medicine. I think the only CV I have ever produced was 8 years ago when I retired from Lakenham and was looking for P/T work.
It is all quite exciting and although I don't expect ever to make anything significant from it, it does give some point to my literary efforts and sharpens me up. I have a problem at the moment with balancing my tendency to self criticism against the untempered approval of family and friends, and the view of an unbiased stranger will either stop me in my tracks or give me the confidence I need to go on.
We had a couple of days of thaw this week and nearly all the snow has gone. I should really have got out and planted the Autumn broad beans. Apparently they are only suitable for autumn planting, but my numb tingly fngers still don't like the cold. There was a hard frost last night, so I expect the ground is not very workable. I'll see how Dave gets on pulling up a leek for lunch - if he has to dig it up I doubt if the beans will do anything useful in the ground.
Bob e-mailed me with a copy of the letter he received from his father's agent, suggesting I should contact their children's book person, so I have e-mailed her to see if she will accept the pdf version of 'When Grandma was Little' to look at. The instructions for submissions also mention a CV, so I have also asked what that means in this context, as I can't believe they want to know the history of my career in medicine. I think the only CV I have ever produced was 8 years ago when I retired from Lakenham and was looking for P/T work.
It is all quite exciting and although I don't expect ever to make anything significant from it, it does give some point to my literary efforts and sharpens me up. I have a problem at the moment with balancing my tendency to self criticism against the untempered approval of family and friends, and the view of an unbiased stranger will either stop me in my tracks or give me the confidence I need to go on.
We had a couple of days of thaw this week and nearly all the snow has gone. I should really have got out and planted the Autumn broad beans. Apparently they are only suitable for autumn planting, but my numb tingly fngers still don't like the cold. There was a hard frost last night, so I expect the ground is not very workable. I'll see how Dave gets on pulling up a leek for lunch - if he has to dig it up I doubt if the beans will do anything useful in the ground.
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