BASKETTCASE

Day 6, and yesterday was the best Day 5 I have had.  I made apple juice with the windfall eating apples and drank a big tumbler full, did some painting and organising of my book about the old days, 'built' a sandwich for lunch, made Dave a dental appointment for mid-day as his toothache is getting worse, then cancelled it because I couldn't contact him on his mobile!  (Doesn't sound like much, but when it takes and hour and a half even to speak to the receptionist, it actually took up a large part of my morning.)  I also had a cup of tea and a catch-up with Dot, did a load of washing and hung it around the house because the weather is appalling.  Then Dave and I watched the recorded period drama, Downton Abbey, which I would have enjoyed more if I could hear all the dialogue.  I am not sure if it is our new TV or my hearing, but I am watching everything with intermittent sound, and have to keep asking Dave what is happening.  I have taken to doing a codeword or other puzzle at the same time to lessen the frustration.

Today I was confident that I would be in fine form so I tackled the drawers of the tallboy which were full of about 30 years truck and wouldn't open.  We are doing a re-think of our bedroom storage, and contemplating spending money on new wooden furniture, but I want to rationalise what we already have first.  Cancer has made me think about why I am keeping so many souvenirs and tatty memories - I don't just have stuff dating back to my school days (old school tie,) but also numerous attache cases packed with Mum's and Nan's stuff.  When it has been kept so long it is really hard to throw it away, even though sometimes I have no idea of the original significance.  So I am having a think about the stuff I store, because Mary-Ann and Joe won't want to make decisions about my old stuff as well as their Nan and Great-Nan's.  The good thing is it may well mean we don't have to spend money on furniture. 

The Rhino men are here today applying the levelling compound to the drive.  The postman can't get in, and when I made them a cup of tea one of them had to walk all the way round the pightle to collect it from 'Mum's'.  I have almost given up trying to call it the annexe - 'Mum's' is so much more personal, like it is still part of our home.  I have probably done a bit too much this morning as I am a bit wobbly now, which is why I am sitting down with a cup of tea and doing this rather wandery blog.  I have found when the overwhelming tiredness attacks it is best just to give way to it.  It makes me feel a bit pathetic, like I am milking the situation; not knowing the physical basis for what I feel is hard for me.  My potassium was a bit on the low side when I had my last blood test, which gave me the idea I should eat more fruit, hence the apple juice, but it is probably irrelevant except for making me feel I am doing something positive. 

I had an unexpected phone call this morning from a friend from church who had been having her Quiet Time and felt God was asking her to phone me.  She is a person who really listens to what God is saying to her, and acts on it, and what he was saying to me through her was that my trust in him is bringing blessing to those around me, and that he is using my illness to bring about good.  That was such an encouragement, because actually my own Quiet Time is not very focussed at the moment, and sometimes I feel a bit guilty that I am not growing spiritually.  What my friend said confirmed what God has given me since the beginning of this, that this is a different time, a time of just trusting and knowing peace, not knowing what the short-term outcome will be but simply knowing God is walking with me through it all.  It was such an encouragement to have that confirmation, and to know that God is not marking my homework!

Well, the Rhino men have done all they can do today.  The leveller is taking a long time to dry, but they are hoping to get the resin on tomorrow.  We are going to be so smart!