Day 6, Last cycle, second course of chemo

Well, I am halfway through the last cycle of chemo, and it really will be the last as the oncologist says he won't give me any more because of the polyneuropathy .  I still have some numbness and tingling of the feet from last year's course, and there is no certainty that the hands will ever go back to normal.  My main occupations at the moment are crafts and using the computer, so my hands make a big difference to my quality of life.

I negotiated a small reduction in the chemo tablets for this last cycle, having felt so bad last time that I seriously considered missing the last dose.  The symptoms have been a bit better, and this should be the worst day.  Or perhaps it just seems better because it is the last time.

I have been working on my Grandma book, re-scanning the pictures and refining them a bit on the computer.  The publisher suggested a sort of summary of what the book is about on the back cover, which is apparently where people look to see if they want to buy.  The idea was to illustrate it in the same way as the inside pages, but it is so long since I painted them that I thought my style might well have changed, so I have spent the morning using my photo software to extract cameo images from my pages, hopefully as tempting clues.  I have never managed to use this technology before so I am rather pleased with myself.  It remains to be seen whether the final jpeg will have the definition required.

Once this is finalised Mick is going to come and set up the Pre-press on the pdf , print me a proof copy and take it from there.  He is farming out the actual printing as I have designed the book as landscape A4, and his press is not big enough to take the required paper, but it is very reassuring to know that he can iron out the glitches for me before we spend a lot of money on printing.  Dave is convinced that we will re-coup our investment.  I am not so sure, but it is a lovely thing to be doing at this stage of my life, particularly as the book itself is basically about the early years of that life.

I am also knitting a blanket.  That sounds really senile, but it is rather a special blanket.  Think of it in the same way as the bead bracelets the young people are wearing to commemorate events and relationships.  I call it my love blanket.  I am using an Afghan style square based on a heart motif, with all kinds of variations, beads and tricky intarsia knitting, with stripes and squares as contrast.  Then I am putting names on them with swiss darning, as a reminder and tribute for all the people who have loved and helped me through this difficult time.  I am dying to get some of the squares sewn together, but have been held up by the request to knit slipper socks for the boys!  The things grandmothers do!

Our little Victorian

The garden is a bit behind, but I am sure we will catch up once I get some strength back.  I have potatoes chitting and yesterday the boys and I found some sweet pea seeds on last years dry plants, so we spread them on wet kitchen roll and are hoping they will sprout.  I'd hate them to think new plants are manufactured at the garden centre.  We then got carried away and started off some bean-sprouts and a margarine tub of cress, which Joe says should be ready to eat in 3 -5 days.  He is such a mine of information.

A few of my blanket squares

Dom and Dave were given some pheasants

I suppose my next event will be a CT scan, but I am not fretting about that because so far they have all been misleading.  The only useful investigations I have had so far has been the colonoscopies, and while these have given me a diagnosis they haven't prevented me obstructing twice.  Obviously family plans have been on hold for the best part of two years, and it is hard for those who are still hale and hearty, but all I can do is be thankful for each day that I can do something interesting, fun or meaningful.  That's every day, so much to be grateful for.